This Life is Hard

Confession: I have slipped from reading the Bible everyday like I was in the habit of doing previously. I started back up this week and can't believe all that I have missed since I haven't taken the time to read His Word daily. Why is it so hard? Why does reading the Bible seem like such a chore. It gets put on a to-do list, but always at the bottom - the task I never get to. But yet, if I just get the Bible opened, and read the first line, I am so glad I did. Okay, 99% of the time so glad I did - when the reading is cumbersome, sometimes it's a line by line prayer for God to keep me focused so I can get something out of it. But that's not the norm, the norm is it is so amazing to read living, God-breathed Scripture. Why is it so hard?

Truth: The truth is, this life is hard. Choosing Jesus is hard. Why do I think it should be easy? That's what makes the prospect of entering heaven so amazing. I can look forward to heaven, where there are no distractions to worshiping the one true God. What an amazing eternal life that will be.

Cabin Fever

Confession: Why is it so hard to take 3 kids under 5 anywhere? The winter is so hard for this, there is always at least one of us sick at all times through the winter, which makes it hard to hang out too much with friends, or else they won't be our friends very long if we keep infecting them. So we stay home so long, that we get to the point where we are climbing the walls trying to get out. So then we decide, it's time to go somewhere. But where? Let's go to the mall. Maybe we can catch something else there. Maybe the flu this time, yippeee! So we go, and we try to shop, which is next to impossible. Between my 4 year old daughter's endless questions, everything from why do they make clothes for little girls that aren't modest (good question), to why are those $220 boots too expensive, to my 2 year old son, who likes to run and hide between clothes racks, and then there's my 7 month old daughter, if she's captured by a 5-point stroller harness instead of freely crawling her way around our house, she's not happy. About 30 minutes into the trip, my husband and I are spent, and one of us usually says, "let's go, quick!" Then there's the mad dash to put coats and hoods back on, and trudge back out through the snow to get strapped into car seats in the car. There's usually at least one crying on the way home. . . . maybe you get the picture by now.

Truth: We've decided that the only reason to go out at this point is to help us appreciate being home. Isn't it awesome that our home is a place we long to be? It reminds me of those without homes, children without parents, and widows in nursing homes. I pray that our home has been, is, and always will be a place of comfort, safety, love and acceptance for my husband, myself and our kids.

Crying

Confession: I am so annoyed by my own children's crying. We had the worst night. . . if one child wasn't crying, one of the other's was. What is it about your own child's cry that just grates at you and makes you feel like a failure? I'm the mom. I'm supposed to be able to fix it. Why am I a lot of times the one that causes the crying?

Truth: I know that when they're crying, sometimes it's because I AM fixing it. I want them to learn character here, in the protection of my home, where I can help soften the blow if I need to. I can stop the crying immediately. By giving them what they want. But the reality is, if I do that, I am not doing the job that He has put me here to do. God, continue to give me the strength to do what's right for my children, even when it makes them cry.

Chaos

Confession: Trying to leave our house always end up in chaos. Why is it that no matter how early I start getting everyone ready to go, it always comes down to the last 5 minutes? I have no idea what I'm doing wrong, I've tried it 100 different ways, but it's always a huge ordeal to leave the house.

Truth: The bottom line is, for now, this is my reality - 3 kids under 5 equals chaos when trying to go somewhere, especially in the winter when everyone must have winter coats on. I know that I know that I know, that someday I will actually look back on this and miss it. Children are a blessing from God, every minute of every day. Even when they are screaming so loudly that you think they may have pierced your eardrum. . .

My kids dress themselves

Confession: Sometimes I have no idea if I'm doing this parenting thing right or not. Not enough milk, too much milk, hats and gloves, no hats and gloves, pricey new electronic toys, no electronic toys, organic baby wash, inexpensive baby wash, time-outs, taking away privileges, make them look presentable, let them pick out their own clothes. The list of options goes on and on, it is so exhausting being the mom.

Truth: I know two things, first, I'm trying to follow God's rules for parenting as best as I can, and second, I am sure that I have and will make mistakes. Thanks God He's in control and not me.